nudism
is better than
prudism
fourteen hours waiting for the sun

gelatinous waves of
sand and
pandas, footloose and
fearless

tick tock, nine o’clock
time for work and play
moments arisen
lifted, sinned

oh, beautiful for
spacious.

where! are! my onion! rings?
deep-fried, golden brown
what! are! my wedding! vows?
too much
too little
too

origami organisms orgasmed while

the wanderer wondered,
“where is my teapot?”

and we replied,
crisply,
warmly,
“what teapot?”

I should write poetry, “she said.”
Purple flaccid (putrid)
Hydr-angeas

I should write “poetry”, she said.
Americans never knew, that
Two plus two was
More Than.

NABISCO is the number one
evident art
(evacuation, ejaculation)
“aloha,” said the juvenile
inappropriate. hapless.

COOKIES felt
empty, unknown
void, inappropriate
“I already said that,” she said.
“!tn’did uoy tuB,” he exclaimed!
But. No,

Two plus two equals
Three
Faces unending
Uniform uniforms
Tepid translation

“Alliterative alliteration?” asked Aleks.
“Alphonso et all
EIGHT HUNDRED apricots already! I
A-dded them with my A-bacus!”

Who knew? Who knew we couldn’t describe them fully?
Who realized that dark and deep and foreign and void were all synonyms for
“shoelace”? This is not a fraud.
THIS IS NOT A FRAUD

(thisisnotafraud)

“I should write poetry,” she said. And so she did.

It began,

I’m becoming less selfish lately. Wonderful, the things a group of awesome friends will do to a person.

Still self-interested, but I’m realizing the value of having awesome people in my life. And that maintaining those kinds of relationships requires some effort on my part. That friendship (or even family, or even love) is a reciprocal process, and that you must learn to give in order to receive.

I’ve also become less motivated to find a job. It seems like the only people hiring are looking for Eager people, Passionate people. People who really want it. How can I be passionate about sorting files for the government? How can I be passionate about data entry for eight hours a day? How can I be passionate about retail (even those jobs are exceedingly rare)?

So I’ve changed my game plan. Back to basics. What. Do. I. Want.

Well, we can look at this historically. Any bimbo can search through recent posts and figure that out; my end goals haven’t changed. I want to create. I want to make things that are beautiful. I want to perfect them. I thought I could do this through programming, but it’s difficult: I don’t know enough, I’m not smart enough, I’m not strong enough to learn enough to truly be free using programming as my weapon of choice. Perhaps, in the future, that will change.

But there are other ways to create. Sophomore year of high school, I began a sci-fi novel. I’ve since lost the most recent drafts in a freak external HD incident, but I could start back at the beginning. Create something new. I’ve always had ideas, I’ve always wanted to share them.

I could draw, paint. Create digitally the images that have been engrained in my mind for years (Kaos, the black-winged angel; a fire dragon blazing through empty space; Avedra the future-city in a purple desert sunset, the architecture perfect and clean). I want to create these because I believe these. Each of these images means something to me (inner strength; independence and passion; the ideal, the goal).

How to Make Money? I don’t know, I really don’t. I signed up for Google AdSense, so perhaps people will click on ads here once I get that set up. I should redesign this site. Or create a new one.

Things are different now. The past six months have moved faster than any other time in my life. More has been gained, more has been lost. But I feel like this is how life should be. An adventure, in which I take the risks I was always afraid to as a child. In which I live more fully, breathe deeper, laugh louder. I can do that all where I am.

Living does not require sacrifice!